Moments
by CP1
Summary: The JAG crew each take some time to themselves
1. Mac's tears

**Feelin' the Same Way!**

Disclaimer- If only I owned them….

Rabb House

0400 Zulu

Mac sat on the sofa, not caring what time it was. She twirled the silver band, with a 3-carrot diamond in the center of it, around her finger. She could still remember how happy she was on their wedding day. She wished she had that feeling now. She needed it now. 

Harm was away on a case and she was enjoying the time to her self. She didn't want to be selfish and tell him that, but she needed some time for her to sort out everything that had happened in the recent months.

5 months ago, they found out that were going to be having a baby together. They were both so happy. Harm probably more than her. When he heard the news he went right out and bought a glove and bat for his son. Then, he thought it might be a girl so he also bought some Barbies. When he came home he has spent almost $100. 

As Mac sat there she laughed at the memory. It was even harder to laugh now, so after she had laughed all she could she started to cry. Now she wished Harm was here to hold her and tell her everything would be fine.

_The sun just slipped its note below my door__  
And I can't hide beneath my sheets  
I've read the words before so now I know  
The time has come again for me_

The song started to play on the CD player that she didn't even know she had on. As she listened to the words she wondered if they were being played just for her.

The pregnancy was wonderful. She loved being able to feel the baby kick in the middle of the night. And when she was pregnant Harm never teased her about her eating cause she would always say, 'I'm eating for two here sweetie.' She wished she could, once again, say those words.

_And I'm feelin' the same way all over again__  
Feelin' the same way all over again  
Singin' the same lines all over again  
No matter how much I pretend_

It was just 2 weeks ago. That started all of this. She had been feeling some pains so she went to the doctor to have it looked at. She thought it would just be because of the stress if a case she were working on.

Then the bomb was dropped. She had a miscarriage. It hit hard. Real hard. And sure Harm was there for her, but he never would understand her pain. The child that she had carried, a girl by the way, was now gone. She would never have that back.

  
  
_Another day that I can't find my head__  
My feet don't look they're my own  
I'll try and find the floor below to stand  
And I hope I reach it once again_

She tried to keep up the macho-marine stance at the office. She would always answer the question with 'I am fine thank you.' And then leave it at that. But that wasn't the case. She wasn't fine. She would never be again. Everyone would say 'I know how you feel ma'am.' No they didn't. They hadn't had a child stripped form them. They didn't know what it was like.  
  


  
_And I'm feelin' the same way all over again__  
__Feelin' the same way all over again__  
__Singin' the same lines all over again__  
__No matter how much I pretend_

For once, just once, she wanted to not have to act like she was okay. To just be herself. And she was sometimes, but no one ever saw it. It was either in her office, with the door locked and the blinds shut. Or it was, at times like this. When the house was quiet, when you could here a pin drop. When no one was home, and she could just be.

  
  
_So many times I wonder where I've gone__  
And how I found my way back in  
I'll look around awhile for something lost  
Maybe I'll find it in the end_

She wondered, why her. She had come so far in her life. She had beaten everything, found a man who adored her, a job that was the best there could be, and heck her shoes were feeling better. But this one thing had to go wrong. What had she done? She had taken the vitamins, done everything the doctor had said, and yet it had happened. 

Sometimes she thought it was just a horrible dream, and she would be waking up soon, to a swollen belly with a little kick waking her up. But it wasn't a dream, and she wouldn't wake up from it. Sure she could have another baby, but it wouldn't be the same.

  
  
_And I'm feelin' the same way all over again__  
Feelin' the same way all over again  
Singin' the same lines all over again  
No matter how much I pretend_

As the song came to a close, she sat there for a while. Drying her eyes, and wishing for something. Anything! Just something good to go right for once. 

She got up off the couch, turned the lights off, and climbed the stairs to her bed that felt empty. As she was making her way to her bedroom, she pasted the nursery. She just stopped by the door and looked at it.

The yellow paint on the walls made it seem bigger than it actually was. The crib, white with yellow lilies on them, was in the middle of the room. It would never be used again. The stuffed animals that were thrown around the room would never be played with. They would never have to be thrown out from being played with too much. The rocker chair that she would never be able to rock her daughter to sleep in. Nothing in this room would ever be used. And at the thought of that, she again, cried.

She made her way to the bedroom, and just laid down, staring at the ceiling. She didn't even have the energy to undress herself. She just laid down and tried to fall asleep, and hope that her dream took her to come place that nothing ever wrong. And everyone was happy.

The End

A/N- I know it's sad but I had to urge to write it. I will continue with 'Seeing you again' soon! Hope you liked it! By the way the song is by Norah Jones called "Feelin' the Same Way."


	2. Mac's joy

**Turn Me On**

Today is our 5th anniversary. Five whole years, it seems like it's been about 20. But either way I am happy.

Harm is away on a case, something to do with a Naval officer and a shooting. He is up in Norfolk for the investigation. He has been there for 6 days. He just rented a hotel instead of having to drive up there each day.

Like a flower  
Waiting to bloom  
Like a lightbulb   
In a dark room   
I'm just sitting here waiting for you   
To come on home and turn me on 

He doesn't know it yet, but I am in his hotel room setting up a romantic scene. There are roses thrown everywhere. I have candles lit everywhere. I wanted to get a scent that he wouldn't call 'girly', and since they don't make a car grease scent, I settles with apple and pear. It actually smells quite nice.

  
Like the desert waiting for the rain   
Like a school kid waiting for the spring   
Im just sitting here waiting for you   
To come on home and turn me on 

And the best part is, my outfit. I went shopping at Victoria's secret with Harriet the other day, and found this cute little red teddy. It fits to me like my own skin. I know he'll love it, although he thinks it kind of strange to pay so much money for something that stays on your body for only a short period of time. Men!  
  
My poor heart   
It's been so dark   
Since you've been gone   
After all you're the one who turns me off   
You're the only one who can turn me back on 

I cannot wait for him to get here. We have had a few rocky weeks in the past. We just need to relax and remember why we fell in love. We have both been on cases that any other junior officer could have done, we had a huge fight over who knows what, and we have barely even seen each other.  
  
My hi-fi is waiting for a new tune  
My glass is waiting for some fresh ice cubes   
I'm just sitting here waiting for you   
To come on home and turn me on

Okay, he should be getting home soon. Come on Harm, be on time for once in your…oh there's the door!

A/N- Go with your imagination for the rest of it. I hope you liked it. I might put of few more out. And again the song is by Norah Jones!


	3. Mic

**"Look What I've Done to Her"**
    
    **Mic's POV**
    
    _I saw it in her eyes _
    
    _When I was sayin goodbye_
    
    _That girl, she aint gonna be alright_
    
    _Cuz I could tell_
    
    _She'd be goin thru a livin hell_
    
    _And I_
    
    _I wouldnt be there by her side_
    
    _Lord I felt so bad_
    
    _As I sat and watched her cry_
    
    _Thinkin I was movin on _
    
    _And she was barely gettin by_
    
    I will never forget the look on her face when I told her I was leaving. It was the look of pain, agony, and hurt all mixed into one sad face! But it had to be done. I knew she didn't love me, she loved him. And if I had to hurt her to make her see that, than I would do that.
    
    _Look at what I've done to her_
    
    _Look at how I made her feel_
    
    _I gave back her heart_
    
    _The broken parts_
    
    _She got the raw end of the deal_
    
    _And look at whats its done to me_
    
    _Gotta know it tears me up_
    
    _I gave it everything I had_
    
    _And Lord it wasnt enough_
    
    _Hurtin her like this seems so wrong_
    
    _Look at what I've done to her_
    
    _Now shes alone_
    
    God-it hurt so much. It still does, just not as much. I got over it about 2 months ago. But it wasn't easy. I compared everyone I went out with to her. Measured them up, and they all fell short. But then I realized that I would never have her back, so I decided to move on.
    
    But I do feel good about one thing. I didn't leave her alone. She may have felt alone but she was nowhere near it. She had him. He would come to the rescue and be her knight in shining armor. That's what she needed and that is what she would get.
    
    _I saw her out last night_
    
    _she was havin a good time_
    
    _That girl_
    
    _It looks like she doin fine_
    
    _But then I saw a man_
    
    _Walk up and take her by the hand_
    
    _And I, oh God I almost died_
    
    _And then it hit me_
    
    _she didnt really need me_
    
    _I just sat there for a while_
    
    _Until i finally smiled_
    
    I knew they would finally end up together. I knew it would happen. I knew they would be the best couple together. I knew that everyone would say they are so adorable together. I knew that whenever they got together, two angels in heaven would whisper the word 'perfect.'
    
    I knew it, and yet it hurt so much when I saw them together. I watched as he walked over to the table, and how her eyes lit up. How he asked her to dance, and of course she said yes. I saw the rock on her finger sparkle under the cheap disco ball. I saw how they dance to the perfect rhythm. Never off beat and always matching each other.
    
     I saw her happy, which was nice.
    
    As I sat at the bar without them noticing me, I smiled. I haven't smiled in a long time. And it's a bitter sweet smile at the best. I am so happy that she finally found someone who has made her happy, but I am bitter that it wasn't me.
    
    _Yea look at what I've done to her_
    
    _Look at how I made her feel_
    
    _Shes found somebody new_
    
    _And look who took the time to heal_
    
    _And look at what its done to me_
    
    _Ya gotta know it tears me up_
    
    _To walk away from the love me made_
    
    _And just leave it in a cloud of dust_
    
    _And now its got me thinkin_
    
    _Maybe i was wrong_
    
    _After all the things i've done to her..._
    
    _Now shes strong._
    
    She's always been strong, or so she would have liked me to think. The macho Marine who never cries and could stop a bullet. That is what she wants everyone to believe. 
    
    But before the Marine shines through, the woman does first. She cries, she laughs till she cries, she has bad days, she has great days, she wins some she loses some. She's a human underneath all the Marine green. And not many people see that, but he does- as did I. The one thing we had in common. We both knew it was woman then Marine.
    
    _I walked up and said, "Hello."_
    
    _She said, "Its good to see ya,"_
    
    _"But hey I gotta go."_
    
    I did say hi, and she did leave after that. But for the few minutes that we talked, that was enough for me. She was so happy. She acted as though we had parted on pleasant grounds. I am glad she has put it in her past.
    
    _Yea look at what I've done to her_
    
    _Look at how I made her feel_
    
    _Shes standin tall_
    
    _Shes got it all_
    
    _Got the world at her heels_
    
    _And look at what its done to me_
    
    _Yea look at how it makes me hurt_
    
    _If I could go back now I swear somehow_
    
    _I'd find a way to make it work_
    
    _Aint life funny_
    
    _Now i'm the one alone_
    
    _Yea look at what Ive done me to me..._

_Shes gone._

They were the last to leave from their engagement party. I watched as they walked out of the bar, hand in hand. She seemed to have an extra bounce in her step. She seemed as though she was walking on air, and as though nothing could go wrong. If a wind came up, she knew he'd catch her. But her air was calm…she was calm…and she was gone.

A/N- I hope you liked it. I know I am bounces from story to story but they will get done I promise! The song is by Chris Cagle and it's called "Look what I've done to her."


	4. Harriet's thoughts

**Perfect~**
    
    Harriet does some thinking about her life with Bud.
    
    Enjoy~~~
    
    _If you don't take me to Paris on a Lover's get-away it's alright, it's alright,_
    
    _If I'd rather wear your t-shirt than sexy lingerie, it's alright, it's alright,_
    
    _Every dinner doesn't have to be candle lit, It's kinda nice to know that it doesn't have to be_
    
    When we first started dating, he tried everything in his power to make the dates perfect. He tried to get leave time on the same as mine. He would try to take me to romantic getaway spots. He was the perfect gentlemen. 
    
    _Doesn't have to be perfect,_
    
    _Baby every little piece of the puzzle doesn't always fit perfectly,_
    
    _Love can be rought around the edges and tattered down the seams,_
    
    _Honey if it's good enough for you it's good enough for me_
    
    Then I decided I didn't want a gentlemen. I mean I did want someone to love me the way I wanted to be loved. But I didn't want someone who would open my door when all I really was the car to be heated. He did that once…open my door when it was 15 below zero outside.
    
    _If your mother doesn't like the way I treat her baby boy it's alright, it's alright,_
    
    _If in every wedding picture my daddy looks annoyed it's alright, it's alright,_
    
    _Don't you know that all the fairy tales lie, real love in real life?_
    
    Our parents don't like each other. But we love each other and that's all that matters. We love when they both come to visit. We make bets on which set of parents will start the fight, and which set will leave before the other. Mine usually start it and his usually leave first.
    
    _Doesn't have to be perfect,_
    
    _Baby every little piece of the puzzle doesn't always fit perfectly,_
    
    _Love can be rough around the edges and tattered down the seams,_
    
    _Honey if it's good enough for you it's good enough for me_
    
    We've had our share of fights. We've our share of close calls. But in the end we both realize that we are madly in love with each other and that's all that matters.
    
    _Oh you don't mind if I show up late for everything,_
    
    _When you lose your cool,_
    
    _It's kinda cute to me,_
    
    _Ain't it nice to know that we don't have to be_
    
    We both have our faults. And sometimes we'll admit them, not a lot of the time, but sometimes. I pry too much he doesn't pry enough. I expect him to know me like a book, he expects me to know that by now he doesn't know me as much as I wish he would. He knows my hot spots, and I know his. But that's married life. 
    
    So we're not perfect…but we're perfect for each other!
    
    A/N~ Hope you liked it. Sorry I haven't written in a while…I am lazy what can I say! The song is "Perfect" by Sara Evans! Please R&R


	5. Harm's mistake

**I'd Be Lying** (Chris Cagle)
    
    Harm does something wrong, and fixes it!
    
    Enjoy~~
    
    _If I told you I was wrong_
    
    _And wanted you to come back home_
    
    _I'd be lying_
    
    _And if i said that we could work it out_
    
    _And you shouldn't have any doubt_
    
    _I'd be lying_
    
    _And if I got down on my knees_
    
    _In front of God above and swore before the angels_
    
    _I'd give you my love_
    
    If I could just tell her that it was my fault. That I was the one who messed up, not here. Maybe she'd still be here, then again maybe not. Man I was a complete ass. Not the first time though. She told me she was pregnant, and I didn't say anything. She read into that the wrong way and now here I sit by myself.
    
    _I'd be lying next to you at night_
    
    _Holding on to my whole life_
    
    _Right back where I belong_
    
    _Looking deep into your eyes_
    
    _Man enough to realize_
    
    _Yeah, hunny I was wrong_
    
    _And swallowed my pride_
    
    _And put myself in your shoes_
    
    _And tell you that I understand_
    
    _Why you feel the way you do_
    
    _Baby, I'd be lying, I'd be lying next to you_
    
    It's been 2 days since we've talked. Well talking wasn't what we were doing…she was yelling I was winces and the pain in my ears. I miss her. I see her at work and yet I can't touch her. She's at her own apartment. I should just go over there, tell her I am sorry, and that I love her and our baby more than anything.
    
    _And if I told you that I loved you_
    
    _And i'd put no one else above you_
    
    _I'd be lying_
    
    _And if I said that you're the one for me_
    
    _And i'd never set you free_
    
    _I'd be lying_
    
    _And if i somehow found the strength_
    
    _To knock on your front door_
    
    _And tell you face to face _
    
    _I wont hurt you anymore_
    
    I am always the one that hurts her. And it kills me when I hurt her. I don't know why I still do it. You'd think if I knew it was wrong I could stop. It's not like I purposely hurt her. I just say the wrong things at the wrong time. Great lawyer ha?
    
    _I'd be lying next to you at night_
    
    _Holding on to my whole life_
    
    _Right back where I belong_
    
    _Looking deep into your eyes_
    
    _Man enough to realize_
    
    _Yeah, hunny I was wrong_
    
    _And swallowed my pride_
    
    _And put myself in your shoes_
    
    _And tell you that I understand_
    
    _Why you feel the way you do_
    
    _Baby I'd be lying, right here lying next to you_
    
    It's killing me. She's killing me by not being here. Everywhere I look I see her. The countertop: where she sits while I fix dinner. The bed: well I think we know what happens there. The coat rack: where she hands her uniform jacket up when she walks in the door. She's everywhere!
    
    _If I could swallow my pride_
    
    _Put myself in your shoes_
    
    _And tell you I could understand why you feel the way you do_
    
    _Baby I'd be lying, I'd be lying next to you_
    
    _Next to you_
    
    _If I told you I was wrong_
    
    _If I said that we could work it out_
    
    _If i got down on my knees_
    
    _oh__ baby i'd be lying..._
    
    That's it. I can't take it. I am going over there. Yeah it's 0100, but I don't care. I have had 3 days of hell and I can't stand it. So I am going go over there, tell her I am an ass, that I don't deserve her, but that I am the only person who loves her with all my heart. I will do anything to get her back! And tonight…I will be lying with her in my arms.

A/N~ I hope you liked it. Please R&R!


End file.
